My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories Of Leaving And Losing Friends


Have you ever lost a friend? Was that loss in some ways more painful than the end of a love affair? Women’s friendships so often come to a crossroads at which time two women can try to hold on to the friendship, staying connected, or the friends can take two completely separate paths without each other. Many of the essays in this book are about this moment in time, when both rupture and new beginnings are possible.

There are so many ways that friendships can end, and this book describes 35 of them, from each 35 talented and accomplished contributors. At the heart of each essay is the recognition from each writer that she has lost something very real and very personal, a connection that will never be forgotten.

I am proud to be one of the contributors to this anthology, alongside 34 very talented women writers. 

Today, I invite you to pre-order the book which I am sure will hit close to home for many readers

by using my special discount code: EX2014LV.



Pre-order the book and support our mission of sharing women’s voices, one story at a time.

Your autographed copy will be shipped on September 2, 2014, almost two weeks before its official publication date of September 15.

Pre-release sales profits will be spent on publishing and marketing expenses and on building our HerStories Project community.

It Was Just A Matter of Time

Do you remember? For the year and a half we lived with an ocean between us, we send this image back and forth to each other. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they never drift apart.

For the year and a half we lived with an ocean between us, we sent this image back and forth to each other. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they never drift apart.

Do you remember? I was a Resident Advisor in the girls dorm and you in the boys. We were from different worlds, living in separate towers, but it was just a matter of time before our paths crossed. No matter that you had spent your life traveling the world as the son of an Army soldier. No matter that I had remained in the same town I was born for the first seventeen years of my life, with never an illusion of going elsewhere. It was just a matter of time. You spoke up during a weekly meeting, and our eyes met across the room. I would later learn just how outspoken you could be when you believe in something. You’re always up for a good debate, and passionate about your beliefs. I love that about you.

Do you remember? We danced the nights away, every two-step taking our friendship to a deeper level on a path to a future we never imagined. Well, you did from the start didn’t you? It was I that needed convincing. It was I that was too fearful of losing my best friend by wading into uncharted territory of romance and stolen kisses. Yet, I was chest deep from the beginning without even knowing it. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? You worked the night shift at the front desk, and rushed up to your room for a little sleep. Most mornings you woke to the phone ringing and my voice asking you to come down for breakfast with me. I would wait in the Commons Area sometimes ten minutes, sometimes longer. Then, you would exit the elevator, sleepy-eyed and ruffled hair, missing your warm bed I’m sure…but you would always come. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? We planned a road trip to visit my family, but the day before we were scheduled to leave my car broke down. We booked two tickets on the Greyhound bus. Two poor college students, with a bag full of change we hit the vending machines at every stop while the rest of the passengers enjoyed a warm restaurant meal. The bus stopped at every tiny, out-of-the-way town. It took us twice as long to reach our destination, but for us it was the ride of a lifetime. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? Early on in our marriage, we would walk the store aisles creating a wish list of items with which we would one day furnish our first family home. We dreamed of the day we could afford it all, sit back, and take immense pleasure in watching our children enjoy it. We had big dreams, and spent years making them a reality. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? My dad was diagnosed with cancer, his battle lasting only four months. I moved back home to help my mom sort things out emotionally, physically, and financially. The morning of my departure, I rushed around aimlessly trying to get packed while I was completely out of sorts. You made me stop, played our favorite song as we slow danced in the living room, savoring each moment, not knowing how long we would be apart. Six months later, you picked me up at the airport with flowers in hand and I ran into your loving arms. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? You asked for my dad’s permission to marry me, when you realized his days on earth were numbered. You said you wanted him to rest peacefully knowing his daughter was loved and cared for…you weren’t yet a father, but you knew what it would mean to him. Some thought we were rushing things, but we knew we would eventually marry. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? I remember all these moments and so many more that have left an indelible imprint on my heart and my soul. Our love is made up of these memories, these moments, telling a love story like no other…our story. “For better or for worse.” “In sickness and in health.” “For richer or for poorer.” Marriage vows one speaks without truly understanding the meaning of them at that moment. Ceremonial words shared easily at a time when we can only imagine a bright and carefree future. Eighteen years later, we have lived these words and gained a deeper and first hand understanding of them. It has made our bond stronger, our life fuller, and our love richer. It was just a matter of time.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Love!

Here are a few more Valentine’s Related Posts:

Sixteen and Never Been Kissed

Adam and Becca’s Virtual Valentine’s Date

A Letter To My Curly Headed Valentine

The Politics Of Giving Valentines

Valentine’s Candy Messages For The Cynical Single Person

Daily Prompt: Cupid’s Arrow

Butt…Butt It’s Valentine’s

Wild Weekly Photo Challenge: Sunsets


Photo Credit:

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Let’s Be Wild Weekly Photo Challenge – Sunsets

At the age of 2, he couldn’t grasp the concept of one day ending and another beginning. Every night we had a version of the same conversation always beginning with, “Mommy, when is it tomorrow?” Ever a mom, ever encouraging a good night’s sleep and rest for all, my standard response was always, “Well the sun goes down so it can be rested enough to shine on us again all day tomorrow. Once the sun wakes up and starts to shine, and starts to peek through your window, we know it is tomorrow.” Truth be told, I often followed it up with, “then and only then, should you get out of bed and wake mommy up” but I digress.

The above photo was taken on a little weekend getaway with a girlfriend at a time during which she was making some tough decisions regarding her future. I captured this photo at a spot that brings her peace of mind, a spot that fills her lungs and fills her soul. Life changing decisions can leave us paralyzed with fear…fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being alone. And while there is hope in a rising sun, there is also something to be said for a sunset. Laying the past to rest, facing a new beginning, and the unfaltering assurance that the sun will again shine down on us tomorrow.