“One Ring To Rule Them All”

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Wedding-Ring2The digital clock on the nightstand read 3:43 am, as I awoke from a deep sleep to the sound of what could only be bad news. Phones ringing in the middle of the night don’t often carry with them the promise of anything good on the other end, especially when your spouse works the night shift. Still, I hesitated to answer it as I looked around the room as though looking through an old window covered in a thick, grimy film. Three rings, then four rings. On the fifth ring, my arm stretched out in a wooden motion as though someone was holding the marionette strings that were forcing my body to perform the actions my mind was trying so hard to resist. I picked up the receiver, and before I could say a single word was inundated with an avalanche of words tumbling out in a voice I was more familiar with than the very palm that held the phone. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with air, slowly lifting the weight that seconds earlier was crushing my chest. My relief at hearing his voice didn’t allow me to focus on his words. In his endless string of hurried phrases strung together with pauses to catch his own breath, I could only make out a few words. Wedding. Flood. Ring. Elevator. Almost died. That last one caused me to bolt out of bed, my feet oblivious to the icy tiles they landed upon as they paced the tiny bedroom that was our first as bride and groom. The room that held pillow talks long into the night of memories, dreams, and all the whispers that forever join two people together now closed in on me as I pieced together the story of how my husband almost drowned for fear of losing the very symbol of the love this tiny room had seen in our first years of marriage.

He worked the night shift at the hospital, and had headed down to the basement for a snack to keep him awake, as the sounds of hours of thunderstorms and falling rain had begun to lull him to sleep. As the ding announcing the elevator’s arrival sounded, the doors opened only a couple of inches, but enough for a steady stream of water to gush through and begin to fill the elevator. No matter how often or how forcefully he pounded the elevator buttons, the doors wouldn’t budge and the water kept rising. He worked his hands into the slight opening and with what could only have been the force of an adrenaline rush, pried open the doors enough to slip through into the flooded basement and find the nearest staircase. A few hours later, he realized his wedding ring was no longer on his finger. For most, panic would have set in as the elevator flooded. As he describes it, the moment he realized his ring was missing was when the real panic set in for him. He headed back down to the basement, and waded his way through the water for what seemed like an eternity, searching desperately for a small piece of gold that meant the world to him. As emotions threatened to overcome him, in the small corner of the elevator he saw a glimmer of hope and something else as he reached down and pulled his wedding ring to the surface.

A wedding ring is only a material item, a piece of metal with more sentimental value than monetary value. However, for the two people who place that ring on each other’s finger in front of all their loved ones, it is so much more. It is a shout from the rooftops declaring their love for another. It is a vault of memories and special moments shared by just the two of them, that each carry close to their heart, reliving those moments with a quick glance at their hand. It is a constant reminder of the love shared by two human beings. It represents a lifetime commitment to share in the good with each other, to support each other in the toughest of times, and to add more love to this sometimes dismal world of ours. How could that ever be a bad thing? Why should that ever be denied to anyone just because they are gay? What right does our government have to deny this and so much more to a couple simply because they happen to be of the same sex? Why should they jump through rings to be allowed the same rights heterosexual couples are automatically given?

The ring isn’t necessary for two people to show their love for one another. It isn’t necessary to join two people in marriage. The ring itself doesn’t guarantee anything really except the promise of love. How can anyone believe they have the right to forbid a union based on love, when the very essence of love is something that can’t be controlled?

Weekly Writing Challenge: The State of the State

The Littlest Knight With The Biggest Heart

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Photo Credit: littlemisswordy

Photo Credit: littlemisswordy

He may not be tall, dark, and handsome. He may not come riding in on his white horse to save the day, and the sword he holds to protect his princess from all things evil may be a plastic one. Nonetheless, he is her knight in shining armor. She towers over him, but in her eyes he is bigger than the darkness she fears when she needs to retrieve something upstairs, and can’t bear to face the second floor alone. He is bigger than the sounds of night when she asks him to accompany her to take the trash outside. She begs him to sleep with her every night, as if the sheer warmth of his tiny body pressed up against hers is enough to protect her even in her nightmares.

Her little knight takes his job seriously. He discusses movie options with her, and together they choose one they can both lose themselves in for a couple of hours, popcorn in hand, both occupying one half of the couch. The chosen flick must be one of adventure, but can not include anything too scary. His knightly duties are many, and he carries them proudly on his tiny little shoulders. He is the littlest knight with the biggest heart.

I recall one day when I walked up to the school, and he was standing next to his Pre-school teacher. It was the week of Halloween, and all the children had their faces painted at school that day. As I approached him, about to share the appropriate level of excitement over his face art, I slowed my pace. I could only see black smudges across both cheeks. Amateur face painting or the 88 degree temperature? I didn’t have time to ask before his teacher offered an explanation that has stayed with me ever since.

You see, the little knight stood in line as excited as his little friends anxiously awaiting his turn for face painting. One by one, his peers walked off with smiling faces, and admired the masterpieces bestowed upon their sweet little cheeks in a handheld mirror the teacher held up to them. When it came to be Evan’s turn, he made sure to stand perfectly still, a difficult task for a four-year old knight accustomed to being in constant motion. Once the piece was complete, he walked off to the mirror and took in his reflection. He looked at his teacher, looked at the artist, and kindly asked for the face paint to be removed. They convinced him to keep it on for a bit, I imagine in hopes he would get used to it. Tears ensued as well as much face rubbing. Hence, the black smudges I came upon that afternoon. After much prompting, he explained to his teacher that while he really liked the artwork, there was no way he could go home with it on his face. You see, my sister is afraid of spiders, said the littlest knight with the biggest heart.

It Was Just A Matter of Time

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Do you remember? For the year and a half we lived with an ocean between us, we send this image back and forth to each other. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they never drift apart.

For the year and a half we lived with an ocean between us, we sent this image back and forth to each other. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they never drift apart.

Do you remember? I was a Resident Advisor in the girls dorm and you in the boys. We were from different worlds, living in separate towers, but it was just a matter of time before our paths crossed. No matter that you had spent your life traveling the world as the son of an Army soldier. No matter that I had remained in the same town I was born for the first seventeen years of my life, with never an illusion of going elsewhere. It was just a matter of time. You spoke up during a weekly meeting, and our eyes met across the room. I would later learn just how outspoken you could be when you believe in something. You’re always up for a good debate, and passionate about your beliefs. I love that about you.

Do you remember? We danced the nights away, every two-step taking our friendship to a deeper level on a path to a future we never imagined. Well, you did from the start didn’t you? It was I that needed convincing. It was I that was too fearful of losing my best friend by wading into uncharted territory of romance and stolen kisses. Yet, I was chest deep from the beginning without even knowing it. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? You worked the night shift at the front desk, and rushed up to your room for a little sleep. Most mornings you woke to the phone ringing and my voice asking you to come down for breakfast with me. I would wait in the Commons Area sometimes ten minutes, sometimes longer. Then, you would exit the elevator, sleepy-eyed and ruffled hair, missing your warm bed I’m sure…but you would always come. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? We planned a road trip to visit my family, but the day before we were scheduled to leave my car broke down. We booked two tickets on the Greyhound bus. Two poor college students, with a bag full of change we hit the vending machines at every stop while the rest of the passengers enjoyed a warm restaurant meal. The bus stopped at every tiny, out-of-the-way town. It took us twice as long to reach our destination, but for us it was the ride of a lifetime. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? Early on in our marriage, we would walk the store aisles creating a wish list of items with which we would one day furnish our first family home. We dreamed of the day we could afford it all, sit back, and take immense pleasure in watching our children enjoy it. We had big dreams, and spent years making them a reality. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? My dad was diagnosed with cancer, his battle lasting only four months. I moved back home to help my mom sort things out emotionally, physically, and financially. The morning of my departure, I rushed around aimlessly trying to get packed while I was completely out of sorts. You made me stop, played our favorite song as we slow danced in the living room, savoring each moment, not knowing how long we would be apart. Six months later, you picked me up at the airport with flowers in hand and I ran into your loving arms. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? You asked for my dad’s permission to marry me, when you realized his days on earth were numbered. You said you wanted him to rest peacefully knowing his daughter was loved and cared for…you weren’t yet a father, but you knew what it would mean to him. Some thought we were rushing things, but we knew we would eventually marry. It was just a matter of time.

Do you remember? I remember all these moments and so many more that have left an indelible imprint on my heart and my soul. Our love is made up of these memories, these moments, telling a love story like no other…our story. “For better or for worse.” “In sickness and in health.” “For richer or for poorer.” Marriage vows one speaks without truly understanding the meaning of them at that moment. Ceremonial words shared easily at a time when we can only imagine a bright and carefree future. Eighteen years later, we have lived these words and gained a deeper and first hand understanding of them. It has made our bond stronger, our life fuller, and our love richer. It was just a matter of time.

Happy Valentine’s Day My Love!

Here are a few more Valentine’s Related Posts:

Sixteen and Never Been Kissed

Adam and Becca’s Virtual Valentine’s Date

A Letter To My Curly Headed Valentine

The Politics Of Giving Valentines

Valentine’s Candy Messages For The Cynical Single Person

Daily Prompt: Cupid’s Arrow

Butt…Butt It’s Valentine’s

Pearl Jam meets WrestleMania

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Photo Credit: deviantart.com

Photo Credit: deviantart.com

As a mom, there’s nothing sweeter than seeing your kids showing each other some love. Those moments when they are hugging each other and smothering each other in sweet smooches is priceless. However, on more than one occasion that loving moment can quickly turn into a full-blown scene the likes of which WrestleMania can only aspire to achieve. The eerie thing is how quickly it can take a downward spiral into the depths of screaming and torturing. I have witnessed my two children perform this incredible feat several times and each time sit in awe (after I have intervened and sent them to their separate corners) at how two human beings can so quickly fluctuate from love to what I know in my heart is not hate but paints quite the picture of all things hate. There is nothing worse than being in public when the love fest begins because I then find myself holding my breath waiting for the tables to turn, especially when some complete stranger takes an interest in the two little angels love for one another. I can’t even enjoy the compliments being expressed to me, the perfect mother of these cute cherubs (truly you would have to be perfect or deranged to be able to raise children who never fight), because I am holding my breath waiting for my kids to reveal their true selves and in turn my true self since they are a reflection of me after all. I find myself repeating that moment’s mantra “just breathe, just breathe, just breathe” and hearing Pearl Jam in my head.

How many times in our lives do we hold our breath waiting for the worst? How many moments do we miss out on because we’re too busy worrying about the other shoe dropping? How many genuine messages of love and admiration have we skipped over because surely there must be something more to it right? Surely, there must be some ulterior motive behind someone’s compliment or kind action? They must want something right? There’s no way they’re just being nice. It will surely morph into WrestleMania at some point, so why enjoy the moment? Why bask in the glory when something terrible must be right around the corner? We’ve seen the pattern, been there done that, we know how it ends.

BUT

What if something really great is around that bend? What if something nice is actually followed by something nice or maybe even nicer? What if this time is different? How will we ever know? And how can we enjoy the moment if we’re so worried about what’s to come? I say, show ‘em your best smile and remember to just breathe.

What song or mantra gets you through those moments when you need to remember to just breathe?

A Heart Full of Ketchup Packets

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Just a little thing, he couldn’t have been more than six or seven with dirty blonde hair and big eyes that took in every detail of his surroundings as though his very survival depended on it. Maybe where he came from it did…I don’t know. I didn’t know his other world and had never experienced it. I met him in this world, my world. I was in my twenties and living life like a twenty something year old, with little regard for my environment and nary a worry in the world. My world was full of fast cars, good times, and excess around every corner.

Photo credit: rachelleb.com

Photo credit: rachelleb.com

He entered my world on a Saturday afternoon, with his innocent face and those eyes that told a story of things I had only heard of in stories. I met his parents and older sister for the first time that day as well. We took them to a local restaurant for dinner that evening, and the adults around the table made conversation and future plans for this brave family. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I noticed he cleaned his plate, savoring the cheeseburger as though it was a feast fit for a king. Between bites, those eyes took in his surroundings. I’m not sure he even heard the conversation. I, myself, was only picking up bits and pieces when I noticed him carefully placing ketchup packets in his pockets. One by one, he slid them to the edge of the table, glanced around and filled his pockets until they looked about to burst. I knew what those pockets felt like because at that moment a blurred vision of a true survivor came to life before me and my heart filled to capacity. I wondered how many ketchup packets would be enough? Did he know? Did he have a number in mind? How many would it take to make his heart as full as his pockets?

No one noticed the change in my emotions, nor the little boy’s actions that caused it. I remained silent, lost in my thoughts only glancing up to find him studying me. After dinner, I stayed behind and walked out with him. I told him he didn’t need to take the ketchup packets, but how do you explain to one so young that they will never go hungry again? How do you convince them that this new world he has just arrived in less than twenty fours ago, is one where ketchup will be presented to him in overabundance? How do you describe a feeling of contentment to someone who has watched everyone around him make do with so much less than my world is accustomed? There are no words, only experiences and actions that in time create the safety net he craved.

That little boy is a grown man now with a wife and two beautiful little girls. He is successful and lives a good life. I’m not sure he even remembers those ketchup packets…it’s been so long. I, however, have never forgotten. Every time I’m tempted to throw in some extra ketchup packets with my order I think of him and his full pockets. My heart fills with pride for the man he has become, and I hold on to those ketchup packets much the same way he did so many years ago. They are my life preservers too. When I think I need more, when I think what I have isn’t enough, I conjure up his ketchup filled pockets and the look of sheer peace that came over him when full pockets meant a full heart. And, I pray that my focus will always be on achieving a full heart…even when my pockets are empty.

Do you have a “ketchup packets” story in your life that serves as a reminder to you?

Will The Real Little Miss Wordy Please Stand Up?

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I think it’s clear that I love to write. The more I write, the more I want to write. I am flattered to have hundreds of followers in the short time I’ve been blogging…only three months actually. I am taken aback by the kind words, the encouragement, and mostly that there are people all over the world (some in places I couldn’t point out on the map) with nothing better to do than read my random thoughts. ;-) In all honesty, when fellow bloggers think of me when it comes to award time, I feel like somewhat of a farce. I almost look over my shoulder to see if there’s someone else standing up to be recognized as the real Little Miss Wordy. There is so much talent out here that I am just pleased as punch to have snuck in the exit door when no one was looking. Shhhh…don’t rat me out! Stick around and hopefully I’ll write something that will touch you in some way. If I can make one person truly feel something in the process of sorting out my own thoughts and feelings while doing something I’m passionate about, I will view that as icing on the cake. Thank you for reading!

I also want to thank those who have awarded me the following, but more importantly awarded me the encouragement to continue doing what I’m doing here.

Thank you The Broken Road!

Thank you Vina’s Delicious Recipes!

Thank you Joy is Now!

Thank you Chatter Master!

Thank you Lantern Post!


Check me out using the new photo gallery feature! Go me! :-)

In the spirit of giving, I am not going to select the limited number of bloggers, which fall in the right number of followers range etc. I figure if I’m following your blog, it is because something you have posted has spoken to me at some point. I have probably already mentioned many of you in my Holiday Sharing Blogger Challenge. For those I couldn’t work into that post without becoming Little Miss Way Too Wordy, you should be listed below! ;-) Share the love in the Bloggerhood! Pay it forward! Use the ping backs! Link back to other bloggers! Spread the word! Oh, and Happy Holidays!

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